sometimes people pay me to sit in my peejays and watch men’s water polo and drool over these greek statues who defy the laws of practicality and put me in situations where i have to try and find enough upper body strength to pick my face off the ground.
[oh hi. have you SEEN them? my god.]
unrelated: i should buy some snacks. or really just anything edible because when you have company over and all you have to offer them is beer or grapes, your hostess status plummets.
here. have a grape.
<slams head into a wall. snacks are good. beer is not a food group. okay, yes it is. cracks the beers and just gets drunk instead.>
and speaking of things that go really well with beer.
S E Q U I N S
(! ! ! ! ! !)
they make you pose in airplane mode.
you really can’t lose.
another thing that is so beyond awesome that it would make your head pop off your spine and roll around on the floor is when your best friend comes and visits you and the stars align and the world is perfect and you are complete.
[also. drawing on random strangers who get inebriated and pass out at pools is pretty awesome if you’re looking for some cheap entertainment this summer.]
and now i’m going to go to the dmv where one of 37 awful things are likely to happen.
because the dmv is the devil.
but it’s time.
i’ve been a north carolina “resident” for every minute since i was born.
i haven’t even lived in north carolina since 1998.
i think there’s something that borders illegality somewhere in there.
. . .