taboo to you.

so NatGeo -- or National Geographic, as not-quite-as-hip folks call it -- has this show called Taboo that pretty much rocks. it explores, for those of you who weren't tipped off by the title of the show, culturally taboo topics. in very typical NatGeo fashion. which i love.

body modifications is one of those topics. and of most specific interest to me is the oh so very taboo art of neck stretching.

now here is something that looks like fun.

according to trusty wikipedia:

The custom of wearing neck rings is related to an ideal of beauty: an elongated neck.

while we opt for fishnets and red lipstick, the fine women of a few African and Asian cultures prefer wrapping bands of metal around their necks, thus

twisting the collar bone and eventually the upper ribs at an angle 45 degrees lower than what is natural, causing the illusion of an elongated neck.

much like that of a giraffe.

and while you may oohhhh and ahhhh and the sight of shiny gold, i can assure you that the naked neck of these two gals is not necessarily a sight for sore eyes.

now before you bash me for my lacking appreciation of cultures outside of mine own, i must state that i fully support women and men around the world for their "taboo" practices and cultural expressions which i may or may not completely understand. (by the way, NatGeo called it taboo. i did not)

my only point is that if the sole purpose of this neck stretching phenomenon is to create an "ideal of beauty," someone might want to let these chicks know that fishnets and red lipstick can have a similar effect. and cause a significantly less amount of discomfort.

nevermind disfiguration.

switch play.

with regards to the change in appearance in bloggity blog world, i can only say that i hit a wall going about 90 mph with the last template and began to loathe everything about it. so. here's whatcha get. it may not stick. i may hate this one just as much. but i had to make a change and i had to do it now.

do this and you will thank me.

1. get a tea kettle
2. fill half way or two-thirds full of water
3. add a cinnamon stick or two
4. add 7-10 cloves
5. throw in an orange peel if you feel like it
6. turn your burner on low heat
7. enjoy the new aroma that fills your house
8. periodically check to make sure all the water hasn't evaporated from the kettle, leaving a nice burning effect in the bottom of said kettle
9. fill with more water and continue
10. thank me

post script: don't use your Le Creuset kettle. use an el cheapo one that you don't care about, because you will inevitably fail instruction #8 at some point. it's okay when you do, but you will never get rid of the charred ingredients in the bottom of your kettle. (and don't worry, when this happens, it does NOT mean that your house is on fire, even though it might smell like it.)

a little fyi.

in case you were wondering if this hollywood shiz is a bunch of glitz and glamour.

it's not.

it's a big pain in my butt on a good day. and on a really good day, it's just hard.

sometimes i want to set fire to the whole darn thing and go do something simple, like pick up trash. anyway, someone already beat me to the setting of the fire thing.



(by the way, i actually love what i do. just not on this particularly awesome day.)

photo of the day.

this might be a new thing. photos of the day.

and here is today's:



i ran across this on my phone today and it was like the impending spring heavens opened up and there was a total ahhhhhhhhhhhh moment.

not because of the beer. it was because of the idea of warm days at the lake/beach/pool/bay/gulf/backyard/deck/citystreet/patio/roofofyourcar/
roofofyourhouse/anywherethatiswarm with a cold beverage in hand.

nevermind the fact that this may or may not have been taken from the inside of a moving automobile. simply embrace the fact that spring and summer are on the horizon.

and also ignore the fact that it is supposed to start snowing here again in t-minus 21 minutes.

dear jake.

did you somehow miss the fact that your bride-to-be poses topless in burberry scarves??

just checking.

have fun!

really, Jay? REALLY?!

congratulations, Jay Leno, you have yet one.more.reason. to hang your head in shame. don't even try and tell me that your over-inflated ego had nothing to do with the demise of Conan's stint as The Tonight Show host. i a'int buyin' it. you are sort of like Brett Favre, and i have major issues with Brett Favre. you already retired. buh-bye. it's not Conan's fault that your "variety show" sucked as everyone predicted it would. but you know what, this is absolutely not what this post is about.

alright, so we have all re-embraced you in your comeback. (although, i will still watch Letterman over you any day of the week. but it has always been that way.) but don't you think you owe it to your viewers, those who are trying to stand by your post network meltdown, to give 'em something good?

THE CAST OF JERSEY SHORE?????? R-E-A-L-L-Y ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? !

okay, I get it. the show was wildly successful and somewhat of a phenomenon for a "music television" network that airs absolutely nothing to do with music.

i have already admitted that i watched it.

every.single.episode.sometimes.twice.

but you're a little late to the party and even if you weren't, THIS is how you choose to make your comeback?? Jay, you have interviewed EVERYONE. you could have probably booked the Pope himself and yet you sat there and actually decided on this trainwreck collection of idiots to launch the next phase of your career?

And to add insult to injury, you book Sarah Palin to join them? Is this some kind of a joke?

and to think ... my mom actually wants to be your best friend. true story. i think she needs to find herself a new celebrity best friend. like anne hathaway. or meryl streep. someone who won't let her down.

and dear Time Magazine: I call BS on this one.