the cutter crew.

team cutter took the road by storm (as if that wasn’t already happening) and embarked on a seemingly illogical reverse adventure.

los angeles to denver.

with no stops.

with raging hangovers under our belts (thank you, wrap party, i forgot how much i love mixing tequila and red wine. and a lot of both) we pulled out of santa monica well past the sunset, pumped up the jams at decibels worthy of a high speed police chase, and found ourselves in denver 19 hours later.

the cutter crew is made up of 4.

and we all serve a purpose.

i have been designated Cutter 5.

in the military, people are assigned numbers in accordance to their position.

5 is always the medic.

[or so i am told. i’m not in the military, so what do i really know. i’m just going with it.]

which is awesome considering all i can remember from CPR class is something about blowing air into one’s mouth and then pushing a whole bunch of times on their sternum until it either snaps under pressure or the heart starts beating again.

but i’m sure i could save your life if push came to shove.

this reverse trip wasn’t part of the original plan.

i was supposed to take a flight back to new york after logging the first 6,798 miles.

solo.

[and if you do the math, that’s the equivalent of crossing the motherland twice. at least. holla.]

i thought driving across the nation once would be enough. more than enough. i’m-so-tired-of-driving-i-want-to-put-my-skull-through-a-glass-window enough. that kind of enough.

apparently not.

cutter.0 (as in cutter-point-0 . . . that’s just what he wants to be called. even though it’s not an official rank. i didn’t argue. we’ll make it official for our own amusement.) wants to go to Amarillo next, eat a 72-ounce steak, and have all of us buy matching shirts and knives with our names on them.

that plan got vetoed rather quickly by the production company sponsoring this little journey.

perhaps because texas is not even remotely on the way from denver to new york city.

even though we tried to convince them it was.

with an atlas in hand and everything.

or perhaps because they knew we’d be putting all related expenses on the company amex.

which is hardly true.

i was fully prepared to purchase my monogrammed knife all by myself.

in any case, it was a good idea . . .

put your glasses (or styrofoam cups) together for the cutter crew. lord knows, we are.