photos are coming. and stories. a lot of stories. a few of them might be incriminating, but sometimes dignity takes a backseat to a really great tale.
or a monologue.
like the monologue i used to perform (by request) at keg parties, frat parties, dance parties, and parties of two just alike.
[it's a good one. and only compromised one semi-already-lame relationship back in the early college days when most relationships were semi-already-lame.]
photos and stories will come to you (whether you want them or not. hint: you want them.) when i find a pocket of time to connect one component (a memory card. and a memory.) into another component (a computer.) and BOOM it'll be like magic . . . but not like david blaine shit because most of that is just nonsense.
so in the meantime . . .
in an unrelated observation:
the two lead singers of lady antebellum have a chemistry that forces me to decide whether or not i think they're actually full-on lusting each other or are just totally the best actors on the planet.
i mean, let's be honest.
i went stealth for about two weeks, but there is sound reason for this.
the original title was nothing but negative, so here goes one that means nothing and alludes to nothing. and i just said the word nothing three times in one sentence. who am i.
i’m wearing a down jacket and i’m freezing. like saint louis in the dead of winter freezing.
[yeah, that was the post in which i tried tying together radiohead, missouri, bahamian beer, and puppies all into one. and failed. or didn’t. you be the judge, but don’t judge.]
i’m also sitting indoors and the heat is on.
this seems weird. and also a little par for the course.
but i bought four christmas gifts online this morning and that made some sense to me. except the part where i had to spend a seemingly large amount of bread on “rush shipping” . . . then sat for a minute wondering if i’d rather save said rush shipping and just go out in the cold . . . to a mall . . . and then remembered i hate malls more than just about anything on the planet and it really is my own fault that i’ve waited so long to buy presents and then i just clicked “confirm purchase” and sucked it up as personal punishment for being irresponsible.
especially since christmas is in t-minus waytooeffingsoon.
besides, rush shipping is the equivalent of about 3 cups of coffee and a stale scone at starbucks and since starbucks makes me lose faith in humanity and sensibility, i can justify this extra cash dish-out by simply not going to starbucks.
i have my own coffee maker anyway.
there is a plethora of things awesome about having a super-dee-duper large family.
christmas is one of those things while also being not one of those things.
[can’t we just give hugs one year? can THIS be that year? who’s on board with this? mom??]
oh, and i also just found out i may not be making it home on time for christmas this go ‘round.
[by on time, what i mean is several days before the 25th. or even just a few. it appears i may be hauling 545.70 miles of ass, by car, on christmas eve. do the math. making it home in time for dinner is going to be tricky, at best. and you can bet your sweet tookus that the traffic surrounding the district of columbia will fuck a part of this up as well. cheers. happy holidays.]
because i do that thing called working-to-pay-bills-and-buy-things-that-i-need-and-don’t-actually-need-and-both.
my job sometimes rules my world. except when i don’t let it. but lately i’ve been letting it.
maybe someone up here will adopt me for christmas not unlike the way you adopt anonymous families by selecting names and wish-lists off of adorned christmas trees at the mall (gag. mall. gag.) and then go buy a bunch of toys for families who actually need them.
[don’t tell my mom this just yet. also don’t tell her just yet that i really just want to give and receive hugs as gifts. i might find more things to buy online and then we can resume gift-giving in a traditional fashion.]
there is one thing i can promise you, though, in all of this complaining and uncertainty . . .
nothing will stop me from this:
[unless, of course, i don’t actually make it home and end up in the adoption process.]
or this:
and definitely not from this:
[shotguns and wood panneling mean christmas in the mckenzie family is ON. come at me.]
and not even from this. because, God knows, we need it this year:
oh, but remember that time we adopted a dog 4 days before christmas and then gave it away 2 days before the same christmas?
yeah, i don’t think that’s going to be happening again this year . . .
although, you never know.
anything is possible, really.
monday meaningless musings. absolutely none of this is terribly important.
things have been a little heavy lately. or super heavy.
life.
and other things.
heavy.
so in a vain attempt at lightening the weight of such topics as life, death, love, and loss, here are a few things that i’m distracting myself with pondering:
#1. Continenal Airlines gives you free earphones for the purpose of allowing you to have audio in your ears while flying for 5 hours in a seat with way too few inches of leg room. the earphones suck. and they break. they should really tag team with bose and step things up a notch. i’m already paying nine thousand dollars for the flight and an additional unforgiveable fee to pack a bag and take it with me (as if the notion of people taking a change of clothes with them is astounding). so what gives, party people? help a girl out.
[don’t bother using them at home either. pull out the bose. or walk to your car and grab your overpriced iPhone earbuds. overpriced because you lost the first pair and had to re-up. and in the car because if you don’t keep them there, you will always leave the house without them and that whole hands-free talking mandate is not a joke.]
#2. if you are my facebook friend, you may have seen one of these two images a couple of days ago . . . these people are for real . . . and i work with them . . . this concerns me . . .
apparently it was “wear your douchiest jacket to work” day and no one told me.
#3: new york city is beautiful. period.
#4: i once wore purple pants and meant it.
there is nothing else to say about this except WAY TO DROP YOUR DIGNITY, MARCY.
[everyone had an awkward stage. this was mine. just in case that wasn’t clear.]
#5: my dad and brothers (and cousins and uncles and friends and friends of friends) shoot guns and i like it.
[that is Papa’s cowboy hat, by the way. i like that, too.]
#6: beer and football go hand in hand. and especially when you accidentally order the “large” beer not realizing you will be served a gallon of whatever is on tap.
[don’t be fooled by the image. this required a double fisting type of situation. the glass is bigger than my head.]
#7: and on a similar note: world’s smallest beer mug fruity girly cocktail glass ever does not belong in this picture. or anywhere, for that matter. Landmark Tavern, you are fired.
#8: a massive sky can be remarkably good for the soul.
but i’m still never moving to arizona. ever. if i find myself missing any part of it, all i have to do is preheat the oven to 450 and stick my head inside.
#9: it would be weird if dogs didn’t have tails.
#10: i can’t think of a number ten. but i’m sure i could come up with something. give me an hour or two.
okay. g’bye.
