the original title was nothing but negative, so here goes one that means nothing and alludes to nothing. and i just said the word nothing three times in one sentence. who am i.

i’m wearing a down jacket and i’m freezing. like saint louis in the dead of winter freezing.

[yeah, that was the post in which i tried tying together radiohead, missouri, bahamian beer, and puppies all into one. and failed. or didn’t. you be the judge, but don’t judge.]

i’m also sitting indoors and the heat is on.

this seems weird. and also a little par for the course.

but i bought four christmas gifts online this morning and that made some sense to me. except the part where i had to spend a seemingly large amount of bread on “rush shipping” . . . then sat for a minute wondering if i’d rather save said rush shipping and just go out in the cold . . . to a mall . . . and then remembered i hate malls more than just about anything on the planet and it really is my own fault that i’ve waited so long to buy presents and then i just clicked “confirm purchase” and sucked it up as personal punishment for being irresponsible.

especially since christmas is in t-minus waytooeffingsoon.

besides, rush shipping is the equivalent of about 3 cups of coffee and a stale scone at starbucks and since starbucks makes me lose faith in humanity and sensibility, i can justify this extra cash dish-out by simply not going to starbucks.

i have my own coffee maker anyway.

there is a plethora of things awesome about having a super-dee-duper large family.

christmas is one of those things while also being not one of those things.

[can’t we just give hugs one year? can THIS be that year? who’s on board with this? mom??]

oh, and i also just found out i may not be making it home on time for christmas this go ‘round.

[by on time, what i mean is several days before the 25th. or even just a few. it appears i may be hauling 545.70 miles of ass, by car, on christmas eve. do the math. making it home in time for dinner is going to be tricky, at best. and you can bet your sweet tookus that the traffic surrounding the district of columbia will fuck a part of this up as well. cheers. happy holidays.]

because i do that thing called working-to-pay-bills-and-buy-things-that-i-need-and-don’t-actually-need-and-both.

my job sometimes rules my world. except when i don’t let it. but lately i’ve been letting it.

maybe someone up here will adopt me for christmas not unlike the way you adopt anonymous families by selecting names and wish-lists off of adorned christmas trees at the mall (gag. mall. gag.) and then go buy a bunch of toys for families who actually need them.

[don’t tell my mom this just yet. also don’t tell her just yet that i really just want to give and receive hugs as gifts. i might find more things to buy online and then we can resume gift-giving in a traditional fashion.]

there is one thing i can promise you, though, in all of this complaining and uncertainty . . .

nothing will stop me from this:

[unless, of course, i don’t actually make it home and end up in the adoption process.]

or this:

and definitely not from this:

[shotguns and wood panneling mean christmas in the mckenzie family is ON. come at me.]

and not even from this. because, God knows, we need it this year:

oh, but remember that time we adopted a dog 4 days before christmas and then gave it away 2 days before the same christmas?

yeah, i don’t think that’s going to be happening again this year . . .

although, you never know.

anything is possible, really.