i could have put my skull in a burning oven and gotten the same results.

there's rain on my windshield. quite obviously.

if it cuts the mercury level down a wee tiny bit while our inner cores adjust and we recover from the whiplash known as bypassing spring altogether, then i'm into it.

on a separate but equally important note, remember that time i got swine flu from the burger king playroom while babysitting a 6-year old?

well i do because it just happened.

why have we dismissed good ol' fashioned picnics and rolling around in dirt and muck? why do miniature people want to smash their bodies all over the plastic cesspool of food chains when they could just as happily sit outside and rip the heads off worms like we used to do?

the homies in hairnets really outta consider handing out tetanus shots with happy meals. let's get with it, bk.

but it's all good. nothing a little hand sanitizer and a sulfuric acid bath can't undo.

and to think my own mother fired me as a babysitter. true story. something about coming home and finding us on 2 completely opposite ends of the house. not really sitting with the baby, she said.

whatever. baby bro is fine, entirely unscathed, and totally adores me.

sorry, mom. it won't happen again. no really, it won't. brother is away at college and you aren't pregnant.

that would be weird.

Location:in the desert. but not really.