my brother turns 21 today. but not really.

the department of motor vehicles is torturous on a good day.

and on a bad day, it’s really about enough to make you throw yourself through a glass window. before stabbing yourself in the throat. while setting your hair on fire.

but be careful about cursing the DMV. they might just make your day. or year.

if you are my brother.

whose birthday is today.

he was born in 1991.

[which makes him 20. today.]

but the DMV insists he was born in 1990.

[which makes him 21. today.]

despite the fact that there are a number of things like, ohhh i don’t know, BIRTH CERTIFICATES which make it explicitly clear that 1991 is undeniably the year of his birth.

they apparently don’t want to listen.

this might just be the one time in the history of ever that the overabundance of incomprehensible stupidity over there at the DMV equals one solid win for the home team.

happy birthday, little brother.

go to a bar . . . . . . . . . . because you can.

[this encompasses his rejoicing in the DMV fail . . . avec ski goggles.]