shakes her head in dismay.

i am going to get absolutely annihilated for saying this, but i simply can’t resist.

YOU SOUTHERN WIMPS NEED TO CALM THE F%*& DOWN ! ! ! ! !

before you rip my head off . . .

#1: i am a southerner. (maybe not by mailing address anymore. but i most certainly am by blood, heart, and soul. and i pay property taxes to the state of north carolina, so there.)

#2: i love all of you.

#3: i remember what it was like to live in a region that went into full.blown.panic.mode. at the first mention of a flurry.

my hometown cancelled the whole world on monday because of the snow. the snow that didn’t even hit ground until it was practically tuesday.

i think they got like 3 inches.

everything is still shut down.

and this is what i have to say about that:

GROW A PAIR.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and THIS . . . . well, i just have no words.

i lied . . . i have words.

this is atlanta.

okay, okay so i hear it was a total “snowpacolypse” of sorts (an expression that makes me put my head in my hands . . . and keep them there.)

they are sledding.

WHAT ! ! ! ! !

if i unloaded a 3-pound bag of salt on the ground, it would look like there was more snow than that. i mean, is that double-sled run even fun? not to mention WORTH IT?

y’all need to stick to the things you’re good at like SEC football and crawfish boils and leave this winter stuff to the pros. you’re sort of embarrassing yourselves.

have fun going to school in july.

[i hope the public schools figured out that whole air conditioning phenomenon. you’ll need it.]

p.s. to atlanta: i watch the news frequently enough to know you got a lot more than this picture depicts. i saw the video of the dude ice skating on peachtree (prop for that), and i don’t for a second mean to undermine your conditions . . . but . . . it’s high time to move on.