sick day shenanigans.

sick day + dayquil + brand new computer + brand new computer THAT HAS A CAMERA + realizing camera on computer RECORDS VIDEO = hilarity and self amusement.

**disclaimer: i am sick, which explains the wheezing. i am on a high dose of dayquil, which explains why i might appear to be on drugs. i am way too easily entertained, which explains everything else.

(best bud erin was on the receiving end of the phone call in video #1 while i made the massive discovery that the computer records video. the other 2.....well, i have no real explanation. and clearly no shame either.)

The Discovery:


Raining Indoors:


Drunk on DayQuil:


okay, that's all. i think i've embarrassed myself enough for one afternoon.

turkey taco tuesday and confessional.

love: turkey tacos. especially when it's tuesday because then i can say turkey taco tuesday more times than necessary and laugh at myself.

additional love: the double dose of The Hills and The City in a back-to-back format with an overabundance of repeat editions all throughout the night in case i have a bout of insomnia and can't find anything interesting to almost contemplate purchasing from an infomercial. (side note: i only ever did that once. and i don't regret it.)

and much to my delight, the kick-off episode began with this. right out of the gate. i thought MTV was smart enough to make us wait and fight for it for a couple weeks, but i guess even the marketing suits couldn't resist getting this out in the public just.as.soon.as.possible.

confessional: that was the Hills and City part. i shouldn't have to confess that, in retrospect. i'm owning it. despite the fact that the target age group is probably under 20.

and this is just for my own personal amusement (and possibly yours too) and has absolutely nothing to do with anything...

boycotting rent checks.

i despise the 1st of the month. every.single.passing.month.

i don't care if it's rent or a mortgage payment, filling in the box left open for a staggering amount of money to be immediately swept out of my bank account 12 times every year just plain sucks. same with energy bills. same with cable bills. same with pretty much everything i have to spend money on that i just don't want to spend money on.

i hadn't thought about the luxury that is living on your parent's payroll until recently when my mom asked me if i remembered how much my rent was for the house i lived in during college.

yes, mom. i remember.

$266.66 for this piece of real estate.

TWO HUNDRED and 66 dollars and 66 cents.

that's a dinner tab on a fun night.

why can't i still live here?? oh right. because that would be defying the laws of reality associated with adulthood. whatever adulthood really means.

thirty-six hours later.

i can tell you absolutely every single NFL draft selection, every detail of all the rookie's lives, and every single opinion the sports commentators have about the upcoming season.

this wealth of knowledge is a bi-product of what happens when one decides to paint one's dining room TWICE in a 36-hour period after realizing the first color chosen was unlivable, and when one is too consumed in blue paint to step down off a wooden chair to change the channel. because at this hour of the night, network television goes into loop mode and the same broadcast is repeated an infinite number of times.

i will be undoubtedly be dreaming about two-a-days tonight (er, this morning) and i will undoubtedly wake up feeling like i was run over by a freight train.

a break from paint fumes.

note to self:

projects such as painting one's dining room should not be started at 6:00 post meridian.

this was an excellent idea at 3:30 this afternoon while strolling through home depot.

at midnight:30, i am not only wishing i was doing just about anything else, but am also realizing that the 2-inch square paint chip looks nothing like the 4 walls of this room.

sweet.

non-noteworthy breaking news.

Dish Magazine (which i do not read, will not read, and honestly hadn't heard of until today), reports that Kate Gosselin has not had cake since January 2009.

i'm gonna make this one brief.

#1: sucks for her.

#2: i want to meet the person who actually cares.

terrapin take over.

i'm embarrassed to admit that i was only just informed of this brewery situated in athens.

i'm blaming it on the fact that it opened after i had already moved away.

regardless, i think a couple cases of one of their 5 different beers will make an excellent addition to the pool-side party which will commence in athens less than 4 weeks from now.

things which hail from athens are typically worthy of writing home about. there's a pretty good chance this will be one of those things.

epic airline fail.

i knew singing the praises of my go-to airline wouldn't last long. this takes the laws of reason, customer service, and just plain common sense to whole new level of disaster.

frankly, this story has me seeing shades of red and it didn't even happen to me.

yesterday, i dropped of my stepdad at the newark airport for a flight bound for raleigh. simple enough. flight was on schedule, weather was crystal, and none of that ridiculous iceland mess was interrupting any of the domestic travel plans.

he didn't make it to raleigh.

somewhere around 35,000 feet there was "engine failure" which by definition means the engine.....well.....failed. so the plane made what i can only assume would be characterized as a semi-emergency landing in washington, dc.

okay, not a catastrophe. jet planes have 2 engines so all is still somewhat well in commercial travel, other than the fact that the final destination was not reached and anyone who was hoping to make a 10am meeting was shit outta luck.

one would assume, at this point, that the appropriate and logical solution would be to put the passengers on another flight. oh no. not continental airlines. they decided upon spend an hour "fixing the problem" and then (and here's where i lose my mind a bit) PUTTING THE PASSENGERS BACK ON THE SAME DAMN BROKEN PLANE. for flight attempt #2.

guess what happened.

plane takes off, engine fails, back to the airport.

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN'T GET THIS??

sure! let's fiddle with some wrenches and break out the duct tape and maybe, just maybe, we can coast our way to raleigh without anyone noticing that this problem deserved a little more attention than flipping some switches for an hour or so.

oh but it gets better.

with their best customer game faces on, continental offers the passengers (who have now killed their whole day flirting with fate and watching some monkeys jump around on the tarmac) a BUS RIDE to raleigh. A MOTHEREFFIN' BUS RIDE!

now my stepdad is way too nice - nevermind WAY too busy - to take time out of his day to argue with the airline over refunds and free travel vouchers. as he put it "oh, so you mean if i get on the phone with them, maybe they'll offer me a lifetime of free headaches?"

but i'm not afraid to get on the phone with someone who claims to be super important over there. fighting with airlines is something i've become quite good at. i'm not afraid to call them and rip them a new one. but they should be.

i completely understand why he rarely flies commercial. because this is what happens when idiots are running the show and make half-assed attempts at doing their job. which only really requires getting a couple hundred people from one place to the other without death or injury. a couple hundred times a day.

oh and attention continental airlines: next time one of your engines fails, hows about you take the plane temporarily out.of.commission. while you wheel it on over to one of those hangers where a bunch of certified mechanics, electricians, and other super smart plane building people can take a real good look (maybe lasting more than an hour?) before putting it back in flight. just a thought.

the south invades nyc.

which is why i have been absent without leave since sometime last week.

(sorry, angie. i forgot to give you the forewarning i promised you. and after you gave me the most amazing gift of all time, i owed you at least that. going to go hang my head in shame now.)

all i have time for is this. which is the most amazing gift of all time. as mentioned above.



that's right.

i have the most amazing friends.

i bet not even my girl Cherry Jones has one and she is the motherlovin' president!

it's okay to be jealous. i would be if i saw someone wearing it.

regulating your underoos.

and we wonder why the state of new york is in shambles.

in the midst of what many new yorkers are calling governmental crisis -- with a $9 billion deficit and a whole slew of problems that i'm not going to attempt to get into at the moment -- there are two proposals before the Assembly that would regulate the sale of underwear.

as if there aren't other issues which need attention. like immediate attention.

a bill has been presented which, if passed, would fine retailers for accepting underwear that is not in its original packaging. additionally, there is a separate proposal which would impose a similar fine to retailers who permit their customers to try on underwear prior to purchase.

okay, i get it. sort of. no one wants to buy underwear which has come in even remote contact with certain areas of another person's body. it's gross. but seriously? this is what legislation is worried about right now??

in a comical defense, one Assemblywoman stated:

In some cases, the salesperson would take the underwear, just air it out a little bit, and put it on a rack for sale.

if you could just let me know which stores operate in this method, i'd sincerely appreciate it. or maybe i'll just do what any normal person would do and continue to wash any and all articles of clothing, underwear included, before i actually wear it.

i don't know which is more of an embarrassment: the fact that this is the reality of what's going on up in Albany or that i actually took 5 minutes to think about it.

against all odds.

so here's a [potentially stupid] thought:

i want to run a marathon.

and for no better reason than i probably shouldn't.

after 15 years, and 3 surgeries, my orthopedic surgeon tells me "ummm, i just don't know what to do..."

uplifting.

i have the knee of a 60-year old and while all 4 surgeons i have consulted tell me i for sure need the knee replaced, i really just don't want to.

when not recovering from a surgery, in physical therapy, or on "exercise rest" by doc's orders, a typical run for me lasts forty-five minutes to an hour. with a stop or two to either vomit, think about vomiting, or wish that i was vomiting so that i could concentrate on something other than how much pain i'm in.

so this is probably not realistic as long as my joint is still made up of bone and cartilage instead of plastic and metal. but one can dream.

plus, if this guy would run along side me, i'm sure i could muster up the ability to last 26 miles and change. it would be worth it.

best news ever.

after feeling guilty about eating cupcakes for breakfast on saturday, my friend Dena told me:

"If it's acceptable to eat doughnuts for breakfast, then it's perfectly fine to have cupcakes for breakfast."

i love my friends.

rankin means.

it's my middle name, people.

to some of my closest friends, it is my first.

i didn't make it up, contrary to the beliefs of some passersby of late who thought it may have been a pen name. i'm not that creative. in fact, it's my maternal family name dating back way further than i really honestly care to research at the moment. but maybe should, if i ever choose to have one of those handstitched family trees made to hang in my livingroom.

it is also a county located east of Jackson, Mississippi. probably a pretty nice place to live. although i'm not entirely sure. i've only been to Jackson twice.

it's the end of a name as we know it.

the artists formerly known as R.E.M. are now just, simply, REM.

as reported on r.e.m. HQ, which has served for a long time as the band's headquarter tell-all website for news and information, singer Michael Stipe says:

This has been a long time in the making, and I am glad we finally made this decision together, which is truly the only way forward.

adds Peter Buck:

Yeah, with the whole digital thing in the past few years, we were finding people referring to us as 'R dot E dot M dot,' which doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, you know.

good point. i suppose sometimes unnecessary periods/dots/full-stops could be too much for a clan of musicians whose complex artistry has really always rested in the mindset of simplicity.

while this may not seem like a big deal and actually really isn't, for those of us who spent an occasional summer night sipping cocktails and discussing philosophy on the modest front porches of the band members homes, this is tremendous. because we followed them. and always have. and while they are rockstars in their own right, to us Athenians, they are neighbors and even friends.

if your buddy changed his name from John to Jack, it would be big news to you, too.

gunnar.

new favorite thing of all time not likely to be topped by any other new favorite things for an indefinite period of time.

my brother found this little pup at a gas station a month or so ago just outside of columbia, south cack -- sad, lonely, and totally needing to become a part of our family. so he is. and he.is.amaaaazing. a chocolate lab with a bit of pit bull, he is the 35.6 pounds of k-9 perfection.

mom knows best.

in a poorly edited, only moderately enticing trailer for the upcoming season of The Hills (i half-heartedly recommend setting your DVRs immediately. you certainly aren't gonna want to miss a split second of this), trainwreck Heidi Montag is seen having a deep moment with her mom that goes a little something like this:

Heidi: So, you're saying I'm not pretty?

Heidi's mom: Well, I just thought you looked a lot better before you went and had your face rearranged and stapled back together in a feline contortion.

Heidi: {insert tears here}

but it gets better.

at the end of the trailer, you see trainwreck Heidi semi-crying (and i say "semi" because real tears are hard to come by when your face is frozen and your tear ducts are now situated in your abdomen) and saying the following:

I just never thought I'd be getting a divorce.

Really?? You mean you actually thought that d-bag psycomaniac loser you married was a purebred stallion with a golden heart and a real brain inside his skull? Ohhhh, that's right, you were wearing earmuffs the day they taught Relationship 101 in middleschool.

Note to Heidi: a broken heart will heal. a broken face, not so much.

yeah, i'd be crying too.

credit takes flight.

cash is overrated and continental airlines gets a gold star.

you may now make in-flight purchases (like, ohhhhh, i dunno, a cocktail?) on board any of continental's flights using your credit or debit card.

fantastic.

and they'll even toss you a diet coke and about 7 pretzels for free.

and to make the deal even better, they might even leave 40 minutes late and STILL manage to get you to your final destination ahead of schedule. don't know how. don't even care.

what i do know is that they are starting to make up for the time that i was the O-N-L-Y passenger (yes, it is actually possible) on a one-hour flight yet they still managed to lose my bag stuffed full of everything i ever owned. never to be found again.

starting to make up for that and the time they made me sleep on the floor of the san juan, puerto rico airport for 7 hours.

oh, and the flight attendants now wear this:


okay, maybe not. but it would be weirdly awesome if they did.

for angie.

so i've returned from the 5-day stint in cackalacky (will promise to give you due forewarning next time i skip town so as not to leave you hanging in the trenches) and as promised - - i'm here!

k. now i'm gonna go think about something wildly amusing to tell you about.

standby . . .

swim 'n serve.

something that is certainly not given enough attention is the swim up bar.

i mean how genius is this and why.on.earth. do we not talk about it every.single.day?


question: what is wrong with this picture?

answer: NOTHING.

[if you would like to find this little piece of heaven, i suggest traveling to Punta Islita, Costa Rica. like..........now.]

outdated and misunderstood.

while i am admittedly conflicted about the death penalty, what i am absolutely not conflicted about is the act of execution by means of cutting ones head off at the nape of the neck. it is astonishing to me that this even still exists, but in the same breath i am not surprised. we live in a world where the rational meet the irrational in the middle of a crosswalk on 2nd Avenue.

there is a Lebanese man who will leave 5 children fatherless on friday at the hands of the Saudi Arabian government, despite plees from Amnesty International. he is scheduled to be beheaded after being found guilty of sorcery. yes, people, sorcery. a former TV host for a popluar call-in show, this man was really the middle eastern version of a fortune teller. he predicted futures and gave out advice to his callers. kinda like the thousands of people just.in.this.one.city who make a buck or two by telling walk-ins that they will be lucky-in-love and find great wealth and live a long life of bliss. (you can read the latest in this on-going story here, as reported by CNN)

wasn't aware that was such a grave crime. apparently in Saudi Arabia, it is just that.

but beheading?? what, is it still the late 1700's and i wasn't aware of it?

it's nothing more than a cultural difference -- like neck stretching -- that i just don't understand. the mental capacity of certain beliefs and practices is really beyond me. it makes me want to not be worldly knowledgeable. and at the same time it makes me want to know absolutely everthing there is to know, just so i can go to sleep at night and think . . . okay, i get it.

in typical marcy fashion, i intended to find some sort of an appropriate image to leave this post with. let's just say that i strongly discourage ANY OF YOU from google imaging "beheading" . . . i don't know what i was thinking.