epic airline fail.

i knew singing the praises of my go-to airline wouldn't last long. this takes the laws of reason, customer service, and just plain common sense to whole new level of disaster.

frankly, this story has me seeing shades of red and it didn't even happen to me.

yesterday, i dropped of my stepdad at the newark airport for a flight bound for raleigh. simple enough. flight was on schedule, weather was crystal, and none of that ridiculous iceland mess was interrupting any of the domestic travel plans.

he didn't make it to raleigh.

somewhere around 35,000 feet there was "engine failure" which by definition means the engine.....well.....failed. so the plane made what i can only assume would be characterized as a semi-emergency landing in washington, dc.

okay, not a catastrophe. jet planes have 2 engines so all is still somewhat well in commercial travel, other than the fact that the final destination was not reached and anyone who was hoping to make a 10am meeting was shit outta luck.

one would assume, at this point, that the appropriate and logical solution would be to put the passengers on another flight. oh no. not continental airlines. they decided upon spend an hour "fixing the problem" and then (and here's where i lose my mind a bit) PUTTING THE PASSENGERS BACK ON THE SAME DAMN BROKEN PLANE. for flight attempt #2.

guess what happened.

plane takes off, engine fails, back to the airport.

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN'T GET THIS??

sure! let's fiddle with some wrenches and break out the duct tape and maybe, just maybe, we can coast our way to raleigh without anyone noticing that this problem deserved a little more attention than flipping some switches for an hour or so.

oh but it gets better.

with their best customer game faces on, continental offers the passengers (who have now killed their whole day flirting with fate and watching some monkeys jump around on the tarmac) a BUS RIDE to raleigh. A MOTHEREFFIN' BUS RIDE!

now my stepdad is way too nice - nevermind WAY too busy - to take time out of his day to argue with the airline over refunds and free travel vouchers. as he put it "oh, so you mean if i get on the phone with them, maybe they'll offer me a lifetime of free headaches?"

but i'm not afraid to get on the phone with someone who claims to be super important over there. fighting with airlines is something i've become quite good at. i'm not afraid to call them and rip them a new one. but they should be.

i completely understand why he rarely flies commercial. because this is what happens when idiots are running the show and make half-assed attempts at doing their job. which only really requires getting a couple hundred people from one place to the other without death or injury. a couple hundred times a day.

oh and attention continental airlines: next time one of your engines fails, hows about you take the plane temporarily out.of.commission. while you wheel it on over to one of those hangers where a bunch of certified mechanics, electricians, and other super smart plane building people can take a real good look (maybe lasting more than an hour?) before putting it back in flight. just a thought.